To know that someone you love is going to die is one thing. It is in many ways provisional. Not that they or we won't die at some point, but the details are uncertain. I have known people who have outlived their diagnoses for decades, for example. It is also a different type of knowledge, in Greek this is episteme. You know it like a fact. It may change things, but it doesn't necessitate a change in you.
When that someone does die it is another thing. It is not provisional, not uncertain. There is no going back. There is the fact of it, but there is also more. It is a different type of knowledge, in Greek this is gnosis. It changes you. It is knowledge that changes you.
You cannot explain this to someone who has not gone through it. For them there is only the fact, not the change. Yet for those who have been through this, it is a profound example of the profound difference that is Gnosis.
This Night your Soul is required of You
2 comments:
My true love, the woman that I have spent every day with for the last 7 months died the day before yester day of complications from a heart attack, she was 47.
It is truly indescribable to relate what I have been going thru…
I am not the same man as I was when she had the heart attack 3 weeks ago.
Q: why is such pain required for change?
Can a human really endure such grief?
Is this really happening?
Thank you for the contact.
Love Gerald
My deepest condolences.
We are changed in proportion to the value of the loss. If we were not so vast and deep then surely we would break. If we were merely who we think we are, we would be crushed. But we are more. We extend beyond this form, this place. We are rooted in the eternal, in the divine. So, we do not truly break, and are not truly crushed. Instead we are transformed. The value and the loss become a part of us and we must grow beyond our ideas of who we are to encompass and realize such vastnesses. That is how we know that we are more, that those whose company we have lost, are more. We cannot find where we end, and cannot find where they end. While our time together, being time, must end.
No matter how great the pain we feel, we feel it because of the love we also feel. In love there is an eternal joy. The pain will eclipse the joy like a cloud blocking the sun, yet the sun is always there, the joy is always there. It is there in grief when we cannot feel it for a time. And there when mourning has changed us enough that we can feel it again.
Blessings
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